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The jokes of the category Answering machine

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Total 346 contributions

	[Fred. Message. BEEP.] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Like a sheep: Baaaaaaa.] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You have reached 555-6238. Why?] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is David. Talk to me.] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Klingon voice: ANSWERING MACHINE. S...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is you-know who. We are you-kn...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You have reached 234-1243. This is ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Nike commercial voice: You know wh...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is a boring answering machine ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Classical music in background, slow...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi. Do you ever feel, like, your he...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[After getting many calls for Sherry...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is 234-3249, and no, it's not ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi. You've reached Vienna Farm. If ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Dreamily: Dewdrop, in your pure fre...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I am not home to talk to you, But ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[(For Shakespeare lovers only:) So ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You have reached the number you hav...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is Jim. Unfortunately I...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Steve has been captured by a flying...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You have reached the offices of the...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[A bubble in the space-time continuu...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Alpha Centauri Space Station. Comma...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Chekov's voice: Oh Keptin! It was K...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Darth Vader voice: Speak, worm!] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Borg communications router. Unit ad...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Borg voice: WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[So! You've finally called. And I su...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You might be calling to give me imp...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling Starfleet Com...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Star Trek theme in the background: ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Starship Enterprise, Uhura here, ca...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Bridge, Kirk here.] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Ominous electronic background music...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I can't come to the phone now, so.....] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Yo. I ain't here at the moment. Lea...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Knock, knock. (Pause. Caller thinks...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Jack Webb voice: This is the city. ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is Marlin's answering m...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Sorry that we're not at home. Plea...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling, no doubt, A...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Drunken voice: You have reached Bob...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I am gathering the world's largest ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, this is Jim. Thanks for calling...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[In Japan, the hand can be used like...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Random fact number 10: The first ma...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Tim's dead! And God only knows wher...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Loud heavy-metal music in backgroun...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I'm writing the definitive work on ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[If you are a burglar, then we're pr...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[(Noisy pick-up of phone.) Hi, I'm a...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Aussie accent: Hi, how 'ya goin', l...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is Alan. Leave me a message an...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I'm not at home today, and I might ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Oriental voice: Hello, you have rea...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Annoying radio announcer's voice: C...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Noble, aristocratic voice: Yes, one...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[We're not home now. Leave your name...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Andy Warhol said that one day every...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello. Here are my answers to last ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Concatenation of events preclude ou...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Elleuw, Eenspector, ahem, CHIEF Een...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Footsteps disappearing; toilet flus...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, this is Ed. I'm secretly replac...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Start with: Hello, this is Adrian; ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Strong east Indian accent: Hello, y...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[If a telephone rings in an empty ro...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I don't want to bore you with metap...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I'm only here in spirit at the mome...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I don't exist at the moment, but if...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is Jason's voice. Jason...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This answering machine message is f...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[As the drugs take hold, you feel yo...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You're growing tired. Your eyelids ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Someone stole our phone. So if you ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello. If you're calling with bad n...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Despite the best efforts of the tel...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Mom, Dad... Don't you think it woul...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You're growing tired. Your eyelids ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Congratulations! By correctly diali...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Gameshow-announcer voice: Hello, an...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is your local zoo. Do y...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, I am Chevy Chase's answering ma...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Please leave your name and number -...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for reaching out to us. N...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Classical music: This is our answer...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[OK, one more time... This is our an...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Blah, blablablah, blah, blah. Blah?...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Listen. (Pause.) And now talk.] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Another way to befuddle the callee;...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[And here's a way to befuddle the *c...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello... Yes, I'd like to order two...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Ahhhhhhhhh... ahhhhhhhhhh... (Heavy...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is Frank. You can leave me a m...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, you've reached 340-2359. We're ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[We're sorry. You have reached an im...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, please send me email instead...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[We're sorry. You have reached an im...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[On a male's answering machine, othe...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is Anthony. Leave me a message...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You've reached Mike and Nancy's ans...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Please leave us a message at the be...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, somebody ca...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Recorded during a party: HUB-BUB-H...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home ri...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Bad imitations : Picard: Assume st...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Deadpan voice: Hi, This is Dave. Pl...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Wrong number? No sweat, I was going...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, we are all currently home, b...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello you have reached the Smith re...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[From a distance: Hello I'm far very...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, can I speak to Mark?... Oh, the...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is Jeff, you're not in now, so...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I just got a car phone. I'm not her...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is David. I don't live ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is Chris. John and Mike aren't...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Pick up the phone and say: This is ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[All our answering machines are busy...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling the CSU Autom...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, you have reached dial an unp...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Creamed asparagus! BEEP] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello. All of our operators are bus...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Loud music, John shouting: HI, THIS...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello. (Pause.) Hello? (Pause.) Hel...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, you have reached 555-1234. O...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[To annoy a friend record this as hi...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello? (Pause. Roommate's voice: C'...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[(Long pause, sound of phone droppin...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[[Editor: I don't find this one funn...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[The party you dialed is not availab...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This might be funnier in this conte...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Please hang up now if you would wan...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Fairly boring message: This is John...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, you have reached Richard. I'm s...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[The number you have reached, 226-04...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[A friend was at a mutual friend's s...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Recorded directly from AT&T: We're ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[When the caller calls your number, ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[My time is billed at $125 per hour....] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[After the tone, leave your name, nu...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Shhh! Don't talk, just listen! Meet...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Please leave a message. However, yo...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is Dan Cassidy's answering mac...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Being reincarnated as an answering ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Leave a message or I'll send 30,000...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[The machine answering this message ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Sinister organ music: Hello, you ha...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Italian Mafia-style voice: I can't ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, I'm not home because I've gone ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello! I'm on a four state killing ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Fun to leave on a friend's machine ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is Clovis' answering machine. ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm j...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avo...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thug voice: Uh, hello, Mike and Bri...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Theme music and voice from Alfred H...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[We're not in cause we're out LOOTIN...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Narrator's voice: There Dale sits, ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi. This is David. I've shut the ri...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[We can't get to the phone right now...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, this is the answering machine. ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi. This is John. If you are the ph...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I can't come to the phone right now...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[To the tune of Sidewalk Surfing by ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Please leave a tone after the message.] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling the Peoria We...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling the Smith res...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi! I can't answer the phone right ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, I'm not here right now. In f...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, this is Jim. Sorry I can't take...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[If this were the best of all possib...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[These words are lovely dark and dee...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Steve is reassembling Elvis' brain ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, you've reached 474-2340. Don, K...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, you've reached Meredith's room....] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I'm unable to take your call in per...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Please leave your name, phone numbe...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I can't come to the phone now becau...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I can't come to the phone now, so i...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I can't come to the phone now becau...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I can't answer the phone now becaus...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You have reached 843-4734. Please h...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, I'm not sane right now, but if ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello. I'm home right now but canno...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[In a good Australian accent: G'day ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Frantic violin music: Hello. You ha...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, this is Johan advising you that...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Sorry... I'm far too depressed to c...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I'm pretending that I'm marooned on...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[(Automatic gunfire, explosions, roc...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[(Sound of scrap metal falling down ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Slight echo as if spoken in a large...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, and welcome to Answering Mac...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Dear Caller: As I'm leaving you thi...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[A is for academics, B is for beer....] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Sexy, slow female voice: oooOOOO, G...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Oooooommmmmmmmmmm... (Heavy panting...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[John: Brad, will you get the phone?...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Woman, seductively: Hi, I'm Linda. ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Please leave your name, phone numbe...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[My wife and I can't come to the pho...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Loud sounds of a massive battle; ca...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi!! You've reached Janet and Chris...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello. I can't come to the phone no...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is Fred. We are not... Excuse ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[1: Hi, you've reached Bob and Faisa...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Whole family crowds around, includi...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[1: Hey, would you get the phone? ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Steve:Hello. Steve and Matt aren't ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is the Brown residence....] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hitchhikers Guide theme: The Cerius...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Voice 1: Gee, Dave, what do you fee...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I once had a little white phone, ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is the Brown residence....] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	["Raiders of the Lost Ark" in backgr...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	["Muppet Show" theme: It's time to ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	["Under the Boardwalk": Oh, when yo...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[O ma phone is but an ebon box, W...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	["If I Only Had A Brain": I might...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	["Winter Wonderland": Hear the ri...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Beethoven's Fifth: Nobody's home. ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Camptown Races: I can't come to th...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is the Computer Music R...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	["The Check is in the Mail" by Weird...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[U2's "With or Without You": No one...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit"...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Jimmy Buffett's "This Hotel Room:" ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Pink Floyd's "Nobody Home": You hav...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[(Madonna's "Justify My Love"; sultr...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	["Heartbreak Hotel": I just left ho...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[To the tune of "Ride of the Valkyri...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, you've reached Katie's Insti...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling Robert's Hous...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[In the background can be heard spri...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You've reached the B&D Hotline. All...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Greetings. You've reached Ghengis K...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Sultry female voice: Welcome to Sus...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Welcome to the Afterlife Voice Mail...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Operatic music like Rossini's "Stab...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is a test. This is a test of t...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Next on Public Radio 91 we'll be he...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You are listening to 91.5 FM, KXQK....] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is KVKE, you're on the ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, you're caller number nine!] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Sherwood Forest. Which dear do you ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, dudes, this is 229-3053, the Te...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY. Yes! ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for phoning the Save the ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is the Yardmaster's Off...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[French monologue in the background:...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Comrades! Southwestern Front Headqu...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, you've reached 344-1312, the...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Stoned, slow voice: Hey brother, yo...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Demented, screechy voice; occasiona...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling Uncle Tom's M...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Theme music from Peter Gunn: My nam...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Cheers TV show theme song, "Where E...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline....] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[If you are calling for John, press ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Due to the large number of complain...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling 217-2962. If ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You have reached the Business Autom...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Greetings, you have reached the Six...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi! This is Mary. I'm afflicted wit...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You have reached the Des Moines cha...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling 911. All of o...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You have reached the Suicide Preven...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling the Satanic H...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Gregorian chants in background; ser...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling the Metropoli...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling the Confessio...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, you have reached the DOE, th...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thanks for calling Dial-An-Asshole....] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is Death. I am not in r...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Lucifer speaking. Who in hell do yo...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, epicenter of the Universe, G...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[In a bored voice: Heaven, God speak...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is Dr. Ruth, Sexually Speaking...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, you've reached 1-900-CALL-BREN,...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is Rip van Winkle. I'm ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[English accent: Hello, you've reach...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Imitating Mr. Rogers: Hello. I'm in...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is Walter Cronkite. Bren's not...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	["I'm Morley Safer." "I'm Harry Reas...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Annoying flute music in background:...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Vancouver Coast Guard, may I help y...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[In Joe Friday voice: This is Consta...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[To the Batmobile! Let's go! Atomic ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is the Literacy Self Test Hotl...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Clint Eastwood voice: Go ahead, mak...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Theme music from James Bond: Hello....] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Militaristic mechanical voice: FOXT...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[The President is not in his office ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[US National Anthem; Ronald Reagan v...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Richard Nixon voice: Hi... Uh, some...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[This is not an answering machine--t...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Start, low pitch, slow: Hhhhheeelll...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[After a power outage: Hi, this is R...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Meat Loaf's "I'd Do Anything For Lo...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[(Guns & Roses' "Civil War":) What w...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Sorry, Chris and Susan aren't here ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, you've reached the home of Geor...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Due to the large number of complain...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Rod Serling imitation: You're dazed...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zara...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[1: I didn't expect an answering mac...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello. You are talking to a machine...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Voice 1: Answer the phone, please, ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello. This is Ron's answering mac...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Lindsey's not home now. This is his...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[MacIntosh Plus with MacIntalk progr...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi. This is Kevin and Diana's vacu...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[I'm sorry but my answering machine ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi! John's answering machine is bro...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron'...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi, this is John's answering machin...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[E'llo. My name is Inigo Montoya. Yo...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hi. This is John's answering machin...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello. This is Mark and Nathan's ph...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello. I'm Brian's answering machin...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You just dialed into the North Amer...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You have reached the Strategic Air ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Computer style monotone: Hello, I a...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Computer generated voices: 1: He...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[No! NO! Not THAT! Anything but t...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Don't you do it! Don't you dare! ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello. This is Nonoxynol-9, the per...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling Soviet Embass...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Thank you for calling 434-2322. If...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[(To scare off annoying liberals:) ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[(Machine voice:) Hello. This is H...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Hello, this is Sally's microwave. ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Prepare for alpha test of Beep Soft...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[(Drawling granny voice:) Way back ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You know what I hate about answerin...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Well I finally got an answering mac...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[C'mon... you can do it... just a ...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[You have reached 934-2435. We picke...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A

	[Owner is a hard-to-reach person: Ye...] Posted on 2009-07-05 by SNAKE	Note N/A